RELATIONSHIPS ARE MIRRORS
Relationship to Self is the foundation for every other relationship we have in our lives. Anything that we are in connection with is a relationship. We are in relationship with partners, friends, Life, co-workers, our children, our home, our business, food, social media and everything in between. And each one reflects the relationship we have with Self. Before we can have the love, business or family we dream of, we must first cultivate that which we desire on the outside, within.
read my full story below... my journey home.
"The life you dream of is on the other side of becoming more YOU."
My story began when I finally chose to come back home to mySelf. I was married at the age of 19 quickly after coming out of an abusive relationship from the ages of 16-19. I was a young, married woman with children before I even knew who I was. I was a wounded version of mySelf. I was who I thought I had to be versus who I truly was. It was easier to be who I felt I had to be. That was how I learned to be loved and accepted. It covered up the pain and wounds that I wasn't ready to look at and face. For most of my life, I felt my purpose was to make others happy and more comfortable. I felt safer hidden in the background with my heart closed off, keeping others away from my "broken" Self.
The way that my ex and I worked best was when I was “broken” and needed him. The focus was off him and he instead could be my savior and fix me. I was used to feeling like I was too much for others. It was a pattern I knew well in childhood as I always felt so deeply and never knew what to do with all that I felt. I learned to receive "love" through others fixing and helping me. My marriage reflected this childhood pattern. When I no longer wanted to be fixed, my marriage fell apart.
Nikki's Story
As I grew into more of my truth, I got to know my beliefs and values and what I wanted from a partnership. I started to see I was with my ex-husband out of need and safety versus actual desire. For so long, the fact that he was was consistent and I knew what to expect was enough. It felt like love to my nervous system after enduring so much turmoil and chaos in my childhood. I was blinded by my own pain and wounds from childhood. My own feelings of inadequacy being me. The idea that I could actually have what I desired was a foreign concept to me.
The original bond that bound us together fell apart. I began to see we were two totally different people with different views on the philosophy of life, love, and parenting. I felt like “too much” for him to handle. I craved to be loved simply for being me by a man that could hold all that I had to offer and grow with me.
The original bond that bound us together fell apart. I began to see we were two totally different people with different views on the philosophy of life, love, and parenting. I felt like “too much” for him to handle. I craved to be loved simply for being me by a man that could hold all that I had to offer and grow with me.
I got to know myself and realized I was living a life that was out of integrity with my truth. He was a good husband and a great father, but I had to come to terms with the fact that he could be all of that and still not be for me. One of the hardest things I ever had to do was walk away from a safe marriage to go after the desires in my heart that had no guarantee. I wasn't used to leading myself, nor my life, from desire yet I was willing. The "good girl" persona had to dissolve if I was finally going to live my life for me. I was ready to became untamed for the first time in my life. To feel free. To feel human. I got a taste of the dormant energy ready to be unleashed. There was no turning back anymore, even if that meant walking away from a 16 year marriage with 3 children to experience a conscious relationship with a partner that I desired and could grow with.
I tried to stay and hush my soul up for years. I went to marriage therapy and tried to shut down any feelings and desires I had for other men that came into my life. If I walked away, I wanted to make sure in my heart I knew I did everything I could to try to make it work.
Every time I would try to go back to sleep, Life would wake me up in different ways. It finally left me no choice but to walk away. The pain of staying the same finally became greater than my fear of change. I finally filed for a divorce after 16 years and stepped into my next timeline as a single mom with 3 kids on a journey to create the relationship, life, family and business I dreamed of, by first deepening my relationship with mySelf.
As a single woman, I found myself settling for less than I deserved. I put so much value on my outside looks that that was all I was attracting. Men that only valued my outside. They were all emotionally unavailable. I soon realized that although I was a 35 year-old woman, I was dating with my inner chubby little 10 year-old girl in the driver's seat. The girl that didn’t feel pretty or good enough. The one that so badly just wanted to be seen, chosen and loved. The one that never felt safe taking up space for who she was. I began to tend to these little girl parts that were showing up in my dating life. I started to learn how to take up space and value who I was inside first. I finally started to actually "see" me. I connected to myself in a way I never knew before. I began to show up as the real me instead of who I thought I had to be in order to be "chosen" and then what I attracted started to change.
Slowly I began attracting men that valued who I was minus my looks. They felt lucky to be a part of my already full life. I showed my true me instead of who I thought they would like. My whole life changed when I finally accepted and embraced me. In this, I finally attracted my gift of a husband, Gary. He's everything I dreamed of yet so much more. The love we have surpasses what I dreamt about. Today, our family consists of our adorable little boy together along with our amazing 3 kids from my first marriage.
I was on a hunt for the love that I knew existed. One with an equal partner that I didn’t feel “better than”. One that wasn’t looking to keep me broken so that he could fix me and gain his sense of self-worth from my lack of it. One that was open, both emotionally and spiritually. One that I was attracted to and desired deeply. One that was my best friend and lover in one. And most importantly, one that I could grow with and have fun walking through life with.
my story didn’t end there, though...
I was a teacher for about 10 years in a public school system and when I became awake to the fact of how life really worked and the power that we have to co-create what we dream of in love and life itself, I left teaching on a whim and started my own business to support other women in doing the same. I left with no savings and just a dream. (That’s a whole other story that I share more about on my podcast.)
On this journey I encountered so many more of the things that were getting in the way of allowing my truest Self to be seen and what was getting in the way of embodying my power. Life's medicine I call it. I finally learned an easier way of BE-ing. Of showing up in life and how to *do* less while BE-ing and receiving more. I allowed Life to support me and show me as I listened and followed where I was being led.
I learned to flow with life and let go of my own agendas. I learned scared humility. In this, I learned "ease" for the first time in my life. I allowed myself to feel all the things like I’ve never felt before. My business reached levels I never knew possible, my relationship with my husband reached a level of intimacy I didn’t realize existed, and my relationship with my children is one that most dream of. I’ve healed my relationship with my parents and allowed so much more love and authentic friendships into my life. These are just a few of the many beautiful miracles in my life that were a result of the relationship I created within.
I’ve allowed this by presencing the hard stuff. I faced parts of mySelf that felt wrong or bad and met them with compassion and grace. I accepted all of me and allowed presence itself to transmute the old frequencies that no longer resonated.
I FINALLY CAME HOME
In this, I learned that the parts of my personality that were deemed “too much” all of my life were actually exactly what the world wanted and needed. This is where the magic was lying dormant within me for so long. I finally learned how to refine and use this power that I was once scared of....to be fully expressed
Now I teach others how to do the same.
Now it's your turn. It's time for your life to become your own expression of your wildest desires. Your dreams are calling for you.
Now it's your turn. It's time for your life to
become your own expression of your deepest desires.
Your dreams are calling for you.
When I came home to allow more of me and allowed the world to experience all of me, my whole LIFE, LOVE & BUSINESS TRANSFORMED.
When I came home to allow more of me and allowed the world to experience all of me, my whole LIFE, LOVE & BUSINESS TRANSFORMED.
All that you dream of is on the other side of becoming more YOU.
How to BE-come more of themselves to allow all their desires
How to, simply put, reach their greatest potential that WAS lying dormant underneath who they thought they had to be.
How to CREATE the love, life, family, Income and business of Their dreams with so much ease and absolute flow.
How to flow with life as they experience an ease, joy & super-abundance like never before.
How to refine and embody their own power and show up as HER.
How to welcome back and allow their very own magic that the world needs as they create deep intimacy and get to know themselves.
Love language:
quality time + physical touch
Guilty pleasure:
laying around doing nothing
R&B, house, dancehall
90's hip-hop & grunge
I STARTED THIS BUSINESS:
at the age of 38
MY PERFECT HOBBY:
favorite music:
decorating my home
LET'S GET INTIMATE
TESTIMONIALS
Nikki guided me through some deep pain that I didn’t even know was affecting me in business. When I hired Nikki, all I knew was that business kept feeling hard, despite knowing every strategy I needed to grow and scale my business. She helped me heal something as heavy as an abusive relationship from my past and something we wouldn’t think still affects us, like healing my friends ditching me in high school and how this was showing up in my business. The beautiful thing about working with Nikki was feeling seen & supported regardless of how “serious” the pain was. In truth, we all have wounds and pain that we carry with us. Since working with Nikki, I finally processed and let go of that abusive relationship that was taking up space energetically, got out of my ego in my current healthy relationship, and have greatly diminished my anxiety by learning self coping tools. Oh yeah...and I broke through my previous income ceiling reaching first a $30K launch and then a $25K cash month...and I’m working about 20-30 hours per week instead of 60. So basically, just work with Nikki. You’ll have better mental health, a more harmonious relationship, and will make a fuck ton of money working less than you ever have!
Kristen Cipriano
I tell everyone I meet: my coach changed my life. Those are really the only words to describe what working with Nicole is like! We spent a total of 9 months together 1:1, and while I came to her first because I was ready to heal my love life, it led to so much more than that (although I do have an amazing husband and beautiful baby girl together now). The inner child and energetic embodiment work that we did together helped me so much in my coaching business in regards to realizing what I truly wanted to create… in my relationships with others and the way I listened to them and understood their perspectives… and in my relationship with myself, leading me to be more compassionate, loving and present. Even when she’d say things that would trigger me, it ALWAYS led to growth and I always ended up grateful. My time spent with Nicole was worth every penny and I cannot recommend working with her enough.
Lily nicole
Must Listens
EPISODE 001
Debunking the
Negative Connotations of Marriage Today
listen now
EPISODE 002
Choosing Yourself, Following Your Heart, & Trusting Life
to Fully Support You
listen now
EPISODE 003
Choosing Presence and Relishing in the Magic
of the Mundane
listen now
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
intimate thoughts
from Nikki
Get to know Nikki.... intimately.
Nikki sends out channels of the heart. She shares what’s alive within her,
along with an inspired invitation to meet your own edges
to receive love and life more fully.
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