There’s something so special in being single because we truly get to learn about ourselves if we stop relying on others to fill us up. There are many parts of it that are so fun but when our ultimate goal is really to just find true LOVE, the “fun” parts get old! This made me even more grateful for the love I have today. But I only found real love when I learned to truly love mySelf first and learn what that really looked like and meant. I learned to discover myself by stepping outside of my comfort zone on most days after a while when I was single.
When I really needed a huge shift and felt completely stuck, I flew to Australia solo and fought lots of fears to break free from the chains that held me back for so long. In this, I showed the universe I meant business and was ready for change!! I had to get to know me and love me before I could expect someone else to.
I took a break from dating about 4 months before I met my bf and completely worked on me and changing my story after realizing what my unconscious beliefs were about my Self, love and men by who I had attracted in the past. If you really want to know what beliefs you hold, look at what you’ve attracted thus far.
When I finally ran into him 4 mths later, I had become so comfortable with who I was that I just let him in on the real me without holding much back and showed him my vulnerabilities and insecurities. It made it easier that he was younger than me and I wouldn’t take it seriously at first so I had nothing to lose in my eyes, which made me completely myself.
I was also tired of the games and realized they had gotten me nowhere good in the past and allowed myself to really be vulnerable and put my real self out there with him. So, when I met my him, I was so ME! I was the most real I ever was with any other man in my life.
I finally accepted that I deserved to be with a real man that treated me like a lady. I would often say a guy was “too nice” and would push him to the side but it came down to my self-worth underneath all the layers. Although my bf was younger, he was the most emotionally mature and available man that I was ever with. I started to let the judgment of his age go and look at him as a soul that was meant to be a part of me.
When my boyfriend would go to open the car door for me at first, I used to run to get there before he could do it because it made me so uncomfortable to be treated the way I really deserved. I had to self-talk a lot that I deserved the attention and love he was giving me before I actually allowed myself to accept it from him because I was so used to guys doing the wrong things that that became the norm.
At first, I would think there must be something wrong with him if he’s this into me! Lol How absurd right?! So, I had to change my story about myself even more so when I first found him. I had to stay true to who I was, my worth, and what I deserved at all times!
With some other guys I dated, I just let them know the parts of me I thought would make me desirable instead of who I really was all around. I attracted guys that weren’t emotionally available so that I didn’t have to be vulnerable because it scared the shit out of me to truly put myself out there.
But it wasn’t in my true nature to be a hard ass which is how I acted to protect myself for so many years, even in my marriage.
Those that truly know me now, know how sensitive and vulnerable I truly am. And with me being vulnerable it allows others to be vulnerable and to me there is nothing more beautiful than allowing other to be their imperfect selves and still love them!
And what I found is that the REAL, imperfect, me is the one that’s actually the most lovable.
I had to change my own story and realize what I was doing to attract the people I had attracted before my dating story changed. And when I did, the love I wanted and knew I deserved came knocking on MY door.